About Paul

PAUL W. FRANKLIN is a writer/wanderer/whatever, who is allergic to offices.

He currently lives in Tooting Common, South London, but originally he’s a KENTISH MAN (not a Man of Kent, there’s a difference).

His chest is a 38B, and his thighs are comparable to an Olympic cyclist’s. He sometimes goes to the gym, but prefers sports where points are awarded and people get HURT.

In 2006 he had the honour of having some COMIC SKETCHES performed on ITV’s ‘Shoot The Writers’, helping it to become a seminal show. That is to say, half of his skits were based around semen.

He is a kind-hearted fellow, who SPONSORS a dog called Gazza… or is it Duke?… and his life ambition is to win the Father’s Race at a school Sports Day.

Paul’s American-Indian name is ‘Runs with Scissors’, and his favourite SUB-ATOMIC PARTICLE is the Boson.

He loves the music to NEWSNIGHT. Says it sounds ‘Right dramatic, like’.

He does NOT LOVE big hoop earrings, firmly believing they should have died in the 80s like many other things.

He also hates skinny jeans, and people who make GANGSTA signs with their fingers.

He is a part-time APOSTROPHE NAZI and loathes the term ‘Forward Slash’.

Apart from that, he’s generally full of love. Especially if you have sweeties.

Oh, and the W is just a W.

6 Responses to About Paul

  1. Plumptits says:

    Loving’ the’ posts’ Paul’ hahahaha ///

  2. Gem says:

    Actually, the “W” stands for “Wharton” … your last name, remember?
    Adios Wharts
    x

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